I was listening to one of TobyMac’s newest songs “The Goodness” the other day and the first verse has stuck with me:
You made the rain, so when it falls on me
Should I complain, or feel You calling me?
It’s all on me to stay
And really catch what You’re showing
It’s my roots that You’re growing
‘Cause life is more than this moment
“It’s my roots that you’re growing” reminded me of this little visual (pictured below) that I drew in my journal last March.
I wanted to write a blog at the time about when you feel like you’re not making forward progress or you’re not growing at the pace you think you should be that it could be because God is working on strengthening your roots beneath the surface.
I’ve thought about that visual several times over the last year or so but was never able to come up with a blog.
But hearing that line in the TobyMac song brought it back around again. My recent struggle with depression that I shared here is an example of needing slightly stronger roots.
Would I have been able to survive that season and continue surviving without God strengthening and growing my roots in previous seasons of struggle?
Slightly stronger roots allow us to withstand wind storms.
Only God knows the storms that are coming and only He knows what we need today to prepare us for what’s waiting around the bend.
Looking back…
While I was focused on being in ANOTHER season of dizziness, God was growing a root of empathy for people with chronic illness.
While I was focused on being in ANOTHER season of depression, God was strengthening the roots of patience, love and gentleness towards myself.
While I was focused on ALL the things I was missing out on because of my physical limitations, God was growing a root of gratitude for ALL the good things in my life.
While I was focused on ALL the ways my life wasn’t going how I wanted it to, God was strengthening the root of surrender.
If I’m being honest, there has been an ongoing internal struggle surrounding the dizziness that I’m trying to resolve. At the heart of the struggle is my frustration and resentment towards God because He could fix this. He could take it away but He hasn’t.
I want to know why and what purpose this is serving. Does He just want me to be miserable? And for what?
While I’m grateful that the dizziness has decreased, I want it 100% gone and I don’t want it to keep coming back. As I’m writing this, I’m being reminded of God’s response to the 3 requests to remove the thorn in Paul’s side:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
Whether or not I’m ever able to fully know why God has allowed me to walk through this, I’m grateful for this reminder.
His grace is sufficient when I’m weak.
When I’m dizzy.
When I’m depressed.
When nothing makes sense.
When I’m frustrated that God’s not doing what I want Him to do.
Even then. Especially then.
His grace is still sufficient.
Slightly stronger roots…
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Shining His Light 