My Portion in Pleasant Places (Still Waters – Psalm 16)

Psalm 16: God has given me His portion, His path and His presence. What more do I need?


This is the Psalm 16 post on Still Waters.

Click here to go the main Still Waters page to read all of the previous posts.
Continue reading “My Portion in Pleasant Places (Still Waters – Psalm 16)”

Emptiness: The Case of the Missing Unknown

What if emptiness has less to do with what’s lacking and more to do with what’s been removed?

I’ve been having a lingering feeling of emptiness for about a week now and as I always do when I’m feeling empty, I start listing all the reasons why I’m feeling this way. Then I ask God to fill my empty places and then I move on. Usually after a little bit of time has passed the feeling will dissipate.

Friday evening I was on a walk, thinking about this process and how the emptiness is usually my fault somehow. Some measure of my not-enough-ness. This question rolled into my head:

What if you’re feeling empty because something has been removed? Continue reading “Emptiness: The Case of the Missing Unknown”

Gaining Ground

Making sense of weight gain on my journey of freedom from food addiction…

June 1. First day of the month. The only day of the month I step on the scale. Today is not just the first of the month but also marks another first for me on my recovery journey. Today is the first time I’ve stepped on the scale in the last 13 months and have seen a weight gain reflected on the tiny screen staring back at me.

Immediately my thoughts went to:

“What does this mean? What should I have done more of last month or less of? What needs to be cut out of my food plan? I must be doing something wrong.”

The diet mentality. All roads leading to the number on the scale to define and validate my choices. To tell me whether I’m a success or a failure. Continue reading “Gaining Ground”

Fatherless on Father’s Day

In Memory of Capt. Arthur Galvan, who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom in Desert Storm on January 31, 1991.

This post was originally written on Father’s Day 2017 but is being re-posted for Memorial Day 2019.

How is it possible to grieve the loss of someone I’ve never met?

I’ve asked myself this question many times over the last almost 16 years of marriage to Jason, my husband.

Our wedding day. The birth of our daughters. Every significant accomplishment & milestone in our lives has passed without Jason’s Dad here for us to share it with.

I take for granted my own relationship with my Dad because I don’t know the loss Jason suffered having lost his Dad as a young boy. I’ve not yet had to bury a parent. I haven’t walked that road but I watch the pain in my husband’s eyes every time he feels the weight of being fatherless. Continue reading “Fatherless on Father’s Day”

Mental Fat

Which came first…the food and the fat or the fight and the failure?

This is a recovery post related to compulsive eating, weight loss, and the freedom God has given me through the Overeaters Anonymous program

Today’s Voices of Recovery reading was eye opening for me:

Reading quote: “This program is not a once-in-awhile thing. It is an everyday commitment. The abstinence is for the fat downstairs and the Twelve Steps are for the fat upstairs – in the head.” – Overeaters Anonymous First Edition, p. 150 Continue reading “Mental Fat”

Tent of Transformation (Still Waters – Psalm 15)

Psalm 15: Accepting God’s invitation is a promise to be a permanent guest in His house forever.

This is the Psalm 15 post on Still Waters.

Click here to go the main Still Waters page to read all of the previous posts.
Continue reading “Tent of Transformation (Still Waters – Psalm 15)”

On a Smaller Scale

“Believing in something that seems impossible requires a leap of faith. The gift of abstinence, freedom from compulsive overeating, the peace and sanity which result from working the program seem like elusive dreams to the newcomer or the relapser. Faith requires that I keep doing what works, no matter what.”
-May 18th Voices of Recovery excerpt

January 2016 I started another diet yet again. The first since my youngest daughter had been born in 2011. I set my goal weight as 150 lbs. That has been my goal weight at the beginning of every diet I have ever started. The most I’ve ever lost at one time is 40 pounds and I gained it all back plus some when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter in 2005.

Since joining Overeaters Anonymous (OA) in April 2018 and being abstinent from compulsive food behaviors since May 1, 2018 I’ve lost 90 lbs. I’ve crossed over the halfway point to my “goal weight” and have 85 lbs to go to reach the ever elusive 150 pounds. This feels like a confusing place to be. I’m excited to have gotten this far and to have done it so quickly but I’m even more excited about the bigger changes on the inside that are much weightier than numbers on the scale. And that makes me feel like I need to re-evaluate my “goal weight” – is a specific weight actually my goal? How does my weight factor into my recovery?
Continue reading “On a Smaller Scale”