Apple of His Eye (Still Waters – Psalm 17)

Psalm 17: God covers me in the shadows of His wings and His watchful eye is always on me.

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This is the Psalm 17 post on Still Waters.

Click here to go the main Still Waters page to read all of the previous posts.
Continue reading “Apple of His Eye (Still Waters – Psalm 17)”

Season of Surrendering

You can have it all, Lord…

Earlier this week I woke up to the lyrics from Bethel’s song “Have It All” running through my mind. As I was getting ready for work, the first four lines of the song kept playing on repeat in my head:

“You can have it all, Lord 
Every part of my world
Take this life and breathe on
This heart that is now Yours”

The video for this song is one of my absolute favorites. (Highly recommend you watch it!) Every time I watch it I’m blown away with the artistry and symbolism. Watching it again this week, I was reminded of how tedious and time-consuming the transformation process is.

But also how unbelievably breathtaking it is. Continue reading “Season of Surrendering”

God of the Deep Waters

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander…

Earlier this week I had a mini meltdown on the way home from work. I woke up the next morning feeling like I’d released some pent up emotions but there was still a lingering feeling that I was adrift with no anchor in a sea of way too many emotions.

I had a few minutes to spare before we left the house so I decided to find some music. I randomly picked Bethel’s “You Make Me Brave” album. Haven’t listened to it for awhile and the song “You Make Me Brave” has always resonated so deeply for me.

The two parts of this song that speak the loudest to me are the chorus and the bridge.

Chorus:
“I have heard You calling my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So I will let you draw me out beyond the shore
Into Your grace
Your grace”

Bridge:
“You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises You made”


Leaving behind the safety and security of the shore to go out into the unknown of the waves. Continue reading “God of the Deep Waters”

Fires and Falls

When sparks fly and old scars trip you up…

I’m officially the mother of a teenager. My oldest daughter turned 13 this week and I can’t wrap my mind around how quickly we got here.

I feel like I have been raising a teenager for the past 13 years to be honest. This kid has so much fire inside of her and I can see God using that to set hearts ablaze for Him in years to come but as her Mom, that fire has been the cause of quite a few sparks between us over the years.

I remember my Mom telling me when I was about 13 that I never did anything halfway. I’ve always been all or nothing and that same fire that burns in my girl is alight within me too.

We are both very strong-willed, independent, always right and quick to let everyone know. We both have big hearts and love fiercely, with every fiber of our being. We are the righter of wrongs and the ones making sure all the rules are being followed. We laugh loud, love hard and burn bright for what we are passionate about. Continue reading “Fires and Falls”

Wanted: Me, Myself and I

Finding myself…who I am today and who I lost along the way

I went for a walk last night and was listening to an old Taylor Swift album. Unexpectedly, the song “Fifteen” came on. This song is not new to me. In fact, this song has been extremely instramental in taking me back to my 15 year old self and giving me the ability to tap into who I was so many years ago.

Listen: https://youtu.be/Pb-K2tXWK4w

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It’s the morning of your very first day
You say “Hi” to your friends you ain’t seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody’s way
It’s your freshman year and you’re gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say,
“You know I haven’t seen you around before.”

‘Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen
Feeling like there’s nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you’re gonna be
Fifteen Continue reading “Wanted: Me, Myself and I”

Whole, Not Thin

Unlearning a lifetime of weight loss mentality…

My most recent visit with the scale was last week, August 1st. I only lost .9 pounds for the month and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed with that.

On July 31st, in preparation for my monthly weigh-in, I went over the things I’ve committed to and chose to remind myself of what I’d done this past month to be proud of. I’m glad I did because as soon as I stepped off the scale on the morning of August 1st, I started questioning all my choices. I immediately sent a text to my sponsor and asked her if she thought I needed to make a change in my food. Her response was: let’s pray and see where God leads you. I started praying that God would show me what food plan changes I needed to make.

All that kept coming to mind was the scale. The more I prayed, the more I began to consider that the change God was leading me to wasn’t food related but that He might be asking me to surrender the scale.

It felt like a completely foreign concept because who loses weight without tracking how much they weigh? As I continued praying about it, I kept hearing God say:

I’m not trying to make you thin; I’m trying to make you whole. Continue reading “Whole, Not Thin”

Shedding Layers

Learning to let go of the pursuit of perfection to embrace the process of being refined.

August 3rd Voices of Recovery reading:

Reading quote: “‘…After all, nobody expects us to be perfect,’ we say. ‘We strive for progress, not perfection.’ Such reasoning only delays our recovery. The Sixth Step calls for us to be entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character. Those of us who take this Step with the total commitment required to make it work do indeed strive for the ultimate refinement of character.” – The Twelve Steps and The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 55

Reading: “In Step Six, I use love, insight, and vision to release my current identity and self-image and open myself to further growth and recovery. I remember my ideals and my dreams, and I pay attention to them. The Sixth Step is not about being controlled or coerced toward perfection, as my disease would have me believe. Rather, I prepare to become lighter: more fully me, more fully aware and living in my heart’s desire. I envision a new self, with the intention of letting my Higher Power and my experiences bring me closer to who I really am. While this is, at times, a gradual and contemplative process, I am also in the Sixth Step any time I approach my life with openness to what the moment may show me.”


There’s an emphasis here on balance. We are striving for refinement of character without going to the extreme pursuit of perfection. I love the idea of this refining process bringing me closer to who I really am. This is not just a physical shedding of layers but emotional and spiritual, as well.

I have walked through life bloated on my pride, self-importance, critical judgements, insecurity driven gossip, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not-enough-ness. Continue reading “Shedding Layers”